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Is It A Waste of Time to Explain Oneself?: Helen Paul’s Black Eye Attributed to Domestic Violence

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In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (either in the ascending or descending order), the third tier of the pyramid model is Belongingness and Love Needs/Desires.

Recently, a popular entertainer, Helen Paul, made an Instagram post narrating her ordeal which led to her usage of sunglasses even while taking pictures. She mentioned that some people who were oblivious of the true situation assumed she was being proud.

@itshelenpaul: “Sometime ago, I was involved in a car accident in Abuja. I suffered a concussion to my head and had to wear sunglasses for a while. When taking pictures with others, I would leave my sunglasses on and many complained that I didn’t want my face to show in pictures with them. Some even assumed I was being proud, being a star. They were totally oblivious of the true situation. Not all things are truly what they appear to be. Many are hiding a lot and showing the best side on social media. Focus on the majors and forget the minors. Thank God every day for all blessings, great and small…Four months ago…”

Her fans and supporters showered her with loads of love and sympathy in the comment section as expected. However, some comments suggested a different narrative to her story. (See screenshots below).

Being misunderstood is part of human relations but forcing one’s unsolicited and unwitnessed narrative down the throat of another’s story is uncivil.  Generally, different memes have flooded the internet displaying the level of criticism that exists in our society. One of which is a clip from an old Nigerian movie featuring a veteran actor popularly called Mr. Ibu and another actor fondly called Pawpaw (after the names of the characters they played in some movie, respectively). The former is the father and the latter, the son.

It is this desire to feel loved that sends us into a self-explanatory mode for fear of being called awful adjectives such as bad, proud, arrogant, bossy, snub, and the likes.

In this clip, Mr. Ibu is riding his bicycle with his son and their load on it. They are stopped by a passerby accusing them of being wicked to the bicycle by exerting too much weight on it. Considering this accusation, Mr. Ibu decides to relieve the bicycle of his weight, leaving that of his son and the load. He is stopped again by the criticism of a passerby who is irritated by the current scene. He calls pawpaw wicked and imagines how he (Pawpaw) could ride on a bicycle while his father is on foot. Again, Mr. Ibu conforms to the notion of this passerby and exchanges position with his son. The journey continues. Ibu rides while Pawpaw follows. This is yet another ‘abomination’. Two passersby baffle at the scene and rebuke Mr. Ibu for being a heartless father who would ride a bicycle, leaving his little son on foot. He (Mr. Ibu) decides now, to step down and pull the bicycle alongside his son (both of them now on foot). As has always been the case, he is stopped and questioned for putting up such a ridiculous act. In frustration, he abandons the bicycle. This mirrors, clearly, the level of unconstructive criticism people deal with and if not careful, lose themselves in trying to conform.

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (either in the ascending or descending order), the third tier of the pyramid model is Belongingness and Love Needs/Desires.

As humans, one of our fundamental desires is the desire to feel loved irrespective of the self-defensive comments all over social media screaming otherwise. It is this desire to feel loved that sends us into a self-explanatory mode for fear of being called awful adjectives such as bad, proud, arrogant, bossy, snub, and the likes. Now, you may ask, is it a waste of time to explain oneself? The answer would be “not when necessary and with the right people”.

As we have seen and might have witnessed personally, there are people whose eyes are clouded with shades of negativity, hence all they see is coloured the same. A story of a stranded girl who was helped by a stranger would mean to them that she offered her body in return, even though the gender of the helper was not mentioned. A story of a boy whose status took a great shift, would in their eyes mean that he is involved in some sort of illegal work. These people would not hesitate to attribute the joyful announcement of the arrival of a couple’s long-awaited baby to some fetish help” or water such news down with the sarcastic question, “is it not IVF?” If along the way, the baby dies and there is a medical explanation of what went wrong, then, their verbal excitement would go “I knew it!” The opposite of every story seems to be their interest, hence it is absolutely, a waste of time trying to get the approval of such people.

Does this mean that people telling their stories do not conceal some parts? Perhaps, they do, but it is not in our place to paint their walls black just because they did not grant us access to the whole room. As long as the story they are telling does not require accountability (for instance, stories involving the welfare of a nation, a team, an organization, and so on), it is humane to refrain from asserting dark assumptions even though we do not believe them. If we further claim that it is important to reach out to people who might not have the courage to speak up, then, as a friend in need, we could do reach out privately and still respect their boundaries.

♦ Favour Chiagozie Ebubechukwu is an Editorial  Staff Writer and columnist with the WAP

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Photographer alleges he was forced to watch Megan Thee Stallion have sex and was unfairly fired

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LOS ANGELES (AP) — A photographer who worked for Megan Thee Stallion said in a lawsuit filed Tuesday that he was forced to watch her have sex, was unfairly fired soon after and was abused as her employee.

In the suit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, Emilio Garcia said that after a night out in 2022 in Ibiza, Spain, he was in an SUV with the hip-hop star when she began having sex with another woman right next to him. He was unable to get out of the moving car, and would have been in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country even if he was able. Garcia was “embarrassed, mortified and offended throughout the whole ordeal,” according to the lawsuit.

Alex Spiro, Megan’s lawyer, said she would fight the lawsuit in court.

“This is an employment claim for money — with no sexual harassment claim filed and with salacious accusations to attempt to embarrass her,” Spiro said.

The next day Megan told Garcia never to discuss what he saw and berated and fat-shamed him, the lawsuit said. The complaint also said Garcia, who had already considered quitting because he was overworked and underpaid in a hostile work environment aggravated by Megan’s possessiveness and abusiveness, was misclassified as an independent contractor but treated as an exclusive employee.

Garcia raised those issues in the conversation with Megan, and was fired the following day after four years of working for her, the suit said. He has since filed a job discrimination complaint with the California Civil Rights Department.

The lawsuit, first reported by NBC News, names as defendants Megan, whose legal name is Megan Pete; her companies Megan Thee Stallion Entertainment and Hot Girl Touring; and her label, Roc Nation. A defense response has yet to be filed. There was no immediate response to an email seeking comment from a representative of Roc Nation.

Garcia is seeking financial damages to be determined at trial, alleging he has suffered severely both emotionally and physically because of his treatment on the job, the firing and having to witness the scene in the SUV.

Megan, 29, was previously involved in major legal drama — and underwent a torrent of online abuse — as the victim of a shooting by rapper Tory Lanez, who a jury found fired at her feet on a street in the Hollywood Hills in 2020. She testified at the trial where jurors convicted Lanez of three felonies and a judge sentenced him to 10 years in prison.

Already a major rising artist at the time of the shooting, Megan has since become one of hip-hop’s biggest stars. She won a Grammy for best new artist in 2021, and she had No. 1 singles with “Savage,” featuring Beyoncé, and as a guest on Cardi B’s “WAP.”

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Body of O.J. Simpson to be cremated this week; brain will not be studied for CTE

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April 15 (UPI) — The body of O.J. Simpson, who died last week at the age of 76, is to be cremated, a lawyer representing the ex-football superstar’s estate said, adding his brain will not be donated for research.

Malcolm LaVergne, Simpson’s longtime attorney and executor, told the New York Post that his client’s body is to be cremated Tuesday in Las Vegas.

He said Simpson’s family also gave a “hard no” to scientists seeking to examine the former running back’s brain for chronic traumatic encephalopathy, which is better known as CTE.

CTE is a rare and little understood brain disorder that is likely caused by repeated blows to the head. According to the Mayo Clinic, CTE results in the death of nerve cells in the brain and the only way to definitively diagnose it is with an autopsy of the organ after death.

Memory and thinking problems, confusion, personality changes and erratic behavior, including aggression, depression and suicidal ideation, are among CTE’s symptoms, the Alzheimer’s Association said.

The disease has been found in those who play contact sports, including football and hockey.

LaVergne confirmed to NBC News on Sunday that at least one person has called seeking Simpson’s brain.

“His entire body, including his brain, will be cremated,” he said.

Simpson died Wednesday following a battle with cancer.

Known by the nickname “The Juice,” Simpson was a NFL superstar during the 1970s, which made him a household name that propelled him into film and television during the next decade.

But his stardom would come crashing down in the mid-1990s when he was accused of killing his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman.

His high-profile trial lasted months, but ended with his acquittal.

In 2008, he was found guilty on a dozen charges, including kidnapping and armed robbery, and was paroled in 2017 after serving nine years of his 33-year sentence.

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Houston’s Urban South Brewery Celebrates Fourth Anniversary

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Urban South Brewery Houston will host its upcoming Anniversary Party from Friday, April 5 through Sunday, April 7, in the HTX Taproom, starting at 11 AM, celebrating four years of crafting exceptional brews and fostering community culture. This milestone event will be an exciting day featuring live music, food, activities, and a vendor market.

Beer enthusiasts are also in for a treat with the release of four exclusive anniversary specialty beers. Highlights include “Press Start,” a crafted Czech Pale Lager brewed in collaboration with Parleaux Beer Lab. Additionally, beer fans can indulge in “Level Up,” an Old-Fashioned Cocktail Sour Ale infused with orange peel, Luxardo cherry syrup, and subtle bourbon barrel notes. The offerings continue with “High Score,” a robust Double IPA bursting with flavors of Mosaic, Citra, and Chinook hops, and “Game Over,” a decadent Neapolitan Ice Cream Stout layered with strawberry fruit, Tahitian vanilla bean, and milk chocolate.

To make the celebration even more memorable, fans can pre-order an Exclusive 8-Bit Beer Box featuring the four-anniversary specialty beers (Press Start, Level Up, High Score, Game Over), a 16oz can-shaped Silipint with discounted refills, and 2 tokens redeemable for draft beer.

The Anniversary Party is open to the public, welcoming families and furry friends. Urban South Brewery invites everyone to join in the festivities and toast to four years of brewing excellence.

For more information on Urban South’s Anniversary Celebration, follow the Houston taproom on Instagram and Facebook.

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